Yes, it's always the matter of which body parts! Which makes sex seem so trivial, when you think about it. I've told L I'm pretty sure if he set his mind to it he could get me to orgasm just caressing his way from fingertip to elbow. But would that be cheating? I don't know!
I realize you didn't liken my marriage to a prison cell, MrFarFromRight. But I notice many people here seem to find monogamy too confining, and I wanted to explain why I don't. It would feel that way in a marriage with someone who expected to meet all my needs, certainly. I had a boyfriend like that once. (*Shudder*) And his
hotel was more like 3 stars!
I'm not sure if I could go so far to say that my husband is happy with my interactions with other men, but he seems to understand that part of what he loves about me is the way I love, and he doesn't want to try to control that. I wrote ad nauseum last fall about my "coming out" to him about L, and the issues that came up for him. Not jealousy, but concern for propriety, and wasted emotional energy, on to where our careers were headed (that was a surprise) and even whether I'd be stuck caring for L in his old age. Seems we've addressed all that enough that he is ok with it all now, as long as sex isn't in the picture.
I haven't told him about D, because it seems like mostly just a dance floor flirtation. H told me last year he doesn't really want to know if I'm in love with someone. Hopefully that's ok. I would tell him if it were to move beyond dancing, but D doesn't want to do anything to upset his wife -even email is out, apparently. So we'll just stick with the appropriate body parts for our situation.