Whew! Quite a saga. But despite it's length (and I'm not complaining) there are questions you leave unanswered:
Why do you say that Drew cheated on you? Did you have an agreement with him that he would begin no new friendships? Perhaps he felt that - because you knew of his longer-term relationship with Brian - you wouldn't have an issue with other relationships.
Why do you state that Michael doesn't care about Drew. Remember that Brian didn't want Drew communicating with you... until he got to know you. What do you really know about Michael?
All this "getting to know", "his partner (Brian) finally saw who Drew had been talking to", etc. Was this in person, or he saw you on skype or something?
Had you actually met Drew in person before you told him online that you loved him (a week before you flew out to stay with them both)?
I'm reading between the lines here, but you write: "His partner didn't like me at all to begin with. He didn't want me texting or calling or communicating online at all. So to be polite I tried to listen to him and be respectful." What do you mean "I tried to listen to him and be respectful"? Tried and failed (the attraction that you felt for Drew was too strong to resist)?
I'm sorry, but a possible reading of all this is that you're being somewhat hypocritical: demanding standards of behaviour from Drew - now that you've started a relationship with him - that you were willing to encourage him to flout before Brian decided that you were cute.
I apologise if it appears that I'm jumping to conclusions, but - as I wrote at the beginning - you leave certain important questions unanswered.
And if any of my doubts are even slightly well-founded (you write that "no one would give me answers and said I was being paranoid and controlling." [my emphasis... but the accusation didn't come from me]), I think you need to seriously ask yourself just how honest you're being with yourself... and with them.
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellenceThe person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverbAnd the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais NinI'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.