I don't know if this helps, as I am not sure if you are saying you are meeting people you LIKE and WANT to date, but just not able to let them know this.
If OKcupid has people in your area, that might be a good place to start - if you are feeling brave enough to just send brief messages to people you might find interesting, it is much easier after a couple of messages back and forth to ask about going out for coffee, and if that goes well and you want to get to know them more, move up to lunch or dinner.
I am not so good at meeting people in groups, and I find it far easier on OKcupid, because it is at least somewhat obvious that you are meeting this person because you might be interested in dating. In social events I don't find it easy to let somebody know if I am interested, so if they don't happen to be extroverted, assertive AND interested in me, I would likely never have the chance to see if something could happen from it.
Might just be a good starting place to hone your flirting skills, though I know OKcupid isn't for everybody.