Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Try reading the book Sex at Dawn. It's an anthropological study, but an easy read, which demonstrates humans are meant to be non-monogamous! It's monogamy that goes against our wiring.
Variety, flirting with or shagging other people, makes our primary relationship more exciting too. It's a fallacy that humans are meant to be mono, and a shame that women need to barter their bodies for food and protection during their child bearing years.
If you listen to his interview with the poly weekly chick. He is actually debunking there being a natural norm.
Not debunking monogamy as a whole. The concept of there being one natural way is what he was trying to beat down. Well at least thats the impression I got listening to his interview. Haven't read the book however. Too much other reading material in my life at this point. Maybe someday.
To the OP. I think everyone views love differently. Some of us can create discernible lines in the sand as it were. It is very easy for me to have friends who I love, but I would never be poly with them, which too me insinuates an intimate relationship of some kind, while still being able to romantically love others. Apparently I am fairly unique in this. I don't confuse the two.
Loving butterflies like I feel for my loves, comes with intimacy, sexuality, love and a "relationship"... those butterflies are what guide me.
At one point, early on, I had considered this question a lot to myself. Once I saw the clear line, for me, it was much easier and less confusing.