Thread: New...ish?
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Old 04-06-2011, 05:11 PM
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 718

Originally Posted by Confused1 View Post
I love the idea of poly, I love what it represents. But I just don't think I know how to do it. [...] No one ever seems to be interested in me "that way," at least, no one I have ever been able to tell. I have been introduced to poly people who have "amazing" energy and who, I have been told, can bring out the seducer in anyone. Nothing ever comes of it.
I know...ish how you feel: I created a new poly definition for myself:
Originally Posted by MrFarFromRight View Post
Yeti: a person who is totally in favour of polyamory, sees it as an ideal, a principle... but who (for whatever reason) hasn't actually got any sexual relationships going. (The yeti wanders in the snow alone, allowing (???) him/herself to be glimpsed occasionally, but hasn't made it into civilisation yet.) I know of one example: me. [See "Polyamorous and celibate"]
But I wanted to write something else here: This is not a competition. Neither to see who can start relationships faster, nor to see who can have the most relationships. And certainly not to determine "Who's the poly-est of us all?"

Poly isn't about swinging: it's about quality relationships. Just because you're poly and there are other polys out there, doesn't mean that you're weird if something doesn't happen right away.

My advice (you did ask for advice, didn't you?): Don't go out looking for a relationship just to prove that you're poly. But if you do fall in love (and it happens to even us Yetis now and then), go for it!

p.s. On that "Polyamorous and celibate" linked in the 2nd quote, I wrote about a time that I was made to feel unlovable and unattractive (so I do know about this aspect of your doubt). But it wore off... Important is that you feel good about yourself: that you love yourself.

All the best!
the house Yeti
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