Thread: New...ish?
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Old 04-06-2011, 04:29 PM
Confused1 Confused1 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 1
Question New...ish?

I have a habit of writing Great Walls of text so I will attempt to keep this as brief as possible.

I have been married to a man for 8 years who introduced me to being poly. This has always meant him dating, flirting, and having sexual dalliances with others. Not me. PLEASE don't misunderstand, I am 100% free to pursue any other relationship I choose, I do want to, and he encourages me to get out there and try!

I love the idea of poly, I love what it represents. But I just don't think I know how to do it. In the 8 years I have been poly, I have slept with another woman twice and both times she was a girlfriend of my husband's first. My husband has been on countless dates and forged several relationships. I feel it is necessary to point out that I do not feel left out, I do not feel jealous, I do not feel as though I am still secretly mono. He still gives me quality time, love, affection, and attention to keep me satisfied. I just don't know how to be poly, I guess! No one ever seems to be interested in me "that way," at least, no one I have ever been able to tell. I have been introduced to poly people who have "amazing" energy and who, I have been told, can bring out the seducer in anyone. Nothing ever comes of it. I've been to poly gatherings and put on my bravest face and tried to meet people, yet nothing comes.

I guess deep down I worry that this means I am unattractive, but at the same time, if I were that much of a troll how would I have bagged the wonderful husband that I did? Besides, I have seen people of all types, shapes and sizes at poly meetings happy with multiple partners, and their attractiveness or lack thereof doesn't seem to be an issue.

I'd love some advice...thanks in advance to anyone who read this and wants to comment. Please ask me questions if you can think of any -- perhaps I am doing something wrong? Thanks!
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