Thread: Just LR
View Single Post
Old 04-06-2011, 04:03 PM
MrFarFromRight's Avatar
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 516

Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
I find that I don't WANT to make the effort to make friends. Because I keep realizing that the people I'm opening myself to, are more committed to being comfortable and accepted, than they are to being honest and real.
Present company excepted, I hope! I know that it's only a fledgling on-line friendship (so far), but I do hope that we're being honest with each other.
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
It's so emotionally taxing that the only people who I don't feel that way with-who aren't family (my family and Maca's are totally accepting) are in the lower 48 or other countries.
(my added underlining) Oh, so there's hope for me after all...
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
Today, Maca gets a series of texts telling him that this person is reluctant to get "reattached" to us (due to our relationship issues & that we are planning to move)........

We're talking about a FRIENDSHIP first of all.
Second of all-if you are reluctant, why are you repeatedly inviting us for more time to spend face to face "strengthening" the friendship.
Third-why didn't you bring that up before someone else started having a temper tantrum.

I really like this person. I like the fact that they are cool with kids being around (have one of their own)... I like the conversations we have.

But..... I just cant' get past the apparent lack of full honesty.......
2 possibilities occur to me:
a) Your "3rd person" is interested in more than "just friendship"... and your making clear to the meddling tenants (MTs: hey! just read that out loud...) that you're not looking for more has cooled that interest.

b) You're a stronger person than this person, and they can't deal as firmly with the MTs as you can. (The MTs do seem to be the sort that keep picking at old scabs again and again, but maybe the 3rd person is new to this particular tantrum... Added to which, they all live under the same roof! Hard to avoid frequent contact.) ITC (In this case), practice patience with spineless scaredycats who have some redeeming features. (But tell them - and the MTs - that you won't stand for a lot of this nonsense!)
Originally Posted by LovingRadiance View Post
On top of ALL of that-I've addressed this issue NUMEROUS TIMES since last June with this person and her SO. That in fact the 3rd party whom I have a tentative friendship with-is JUST A FUCKING FRIEND.
I do so hope, Muh Deeyah, that you didn't use exactly that choice of words! Talk about contradictory messages...
If I can't dance, I want no part in your Revolution.
- Emma Goldman Anarchist and Polyamorous par excellence
The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- old Chinese proverb
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
~ Anais Nin
I'd rather have a broken heart / Than have a heart of stone.
- from "Boundless Love (A Polyamory Song)" by Jimmy Hollis i Dickson
Reply With Quote