Originally Posted by BlackUnicorn
What do you think of temporary vetoes, as in 'I love this person but they need to work their shit out before we can continue as metamours, because right now it's having too much of an impact on our family life'?
Either way, is it your responsibility to veto? I mean that means anyone in the relationship Vee can veto anything they deem "impacting" life.
Example1: I am moody and snap at hubs for the umpteenth time he has left laundry on the floor just because I had a fight with 2Rings over something entirely separate from hubs....might be over KT, might be something else... I may have snapped because I was not my usual self and pissed-off in general. Does my argument with 2Rings impact family life, quite often but does that mean hubs has a right to veto a relationship I want. No. He can ask why I jumped in his ass today, bitch a little about it and may utter that a sock on the floor does not warrant a full-blown rant, pick up his laundry and move-on; he can point out "hey I am not 2Rings but I am sorry I was the last straw today" and pick up his laundry; or he can just pick up his laundry and lump the mood I am in until it passes. Trying to place a sanction on something HE has nothing to do with just adds another layer of annoyance AND excludes hubs from his responsibility in any discord he is causing as well.
Example2: Hubs is looking for ways to control the relationship I have with 2Rings because he is monogamous and does not agree with poly lifestyle etc, so he vetos this, that and the other. He argues with me until we are screaming in eachother's faces and in front of the kids almost daily because I do not agree with the vetoes and BTW I am an independent person with free-thought, right? So I am just as stubborn in my "rights." Kids are impacted NOT by metamour but hubs' reaction to my want of my relatinship with said metamour and to have this or that everyday, normal expectation in that relationship. What did the veto accomplish?
BTW- hubs doesn't ever veto. Thank god!
Just my thoughts on veto. And this applies to politics as well. That and filebustering really get on my nerves. I just don't see the point of it other than to piss people off, extend the argument, and cause further stress and discord. The exact opposite of ANY reason I have heard in support of the power of veto.