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Old 09-23-2009, 10:08 AM
secondchance secondchance is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 15
Cool Questions/rambling.

Hello all, just joined the forum tonight. I have been thinking about polyamory for a few years now, but as I am in a long-term, monogamous relationship with someone who definitely is NOT open to seeing other people, I have never looked into this. She is very unreceptive to the idea. But circumstances have changed, and I think it is finally time to explore these feelings.

I just have a few questions and would like some input on my opinions. I also am impressed with anyone who reads this trough to the end

I speak mostly from opinions and from very few experiences. However, I may be wrong and I have never been in a poly relationship and only fooled around casually, but I also think of this the same way I knew I was bisexual... you just know, even before you try.

I feel it is possible to be completely in love with one person while still being able to date another. I feel that I can separate love and casual dating/sex, and still maintain a relationship with this special person while exploring my feelings with others who may come along. I have done this on more than one occasion and already know I can handle that.

Who decided that humans are a monogamous species, anyway? Because it is socially the "norm", obviously. but where did that come from - just the jealousy and insecurities that most people have? And with all the cheating going on in the world... maybe monogamy is just not meant to be?

I am not sure if I could be in love with two people at once, but am not ruling out the option. I have been reading about people having primaries and secondaries, and I am really relieved that I am not the only one who feels this might be acceptable for future relationships.

One of my main concerns is jealousy. I am very insecure and very jealous of non-sexual partners, so I am scared that will ruin any future sexual relationships. But no matter how scared I am of this, I think that people should work on their jealousy rather than keeping their partner all to theirselves.

I think that honesty is one of the most important things that holds a relationship together. Lack of honesty and trust is a major part of what drove me and my current partner apart. I still love her as one of my best friends and when we break up I am going to miss her like crazy.

I look forward to hearing your input..

Last edited by secondchance; 09-23-2009 at 10:32 AM.
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