ah hell, if I'm back why not take this opportunity to go on and on about myself. You are my captive audience...and a few multiple posts in a row won't even come close to making up for the time that has lapsed.
It just occurred to me, what it is that appeals to me most when I write on this forum (aside from the fact that this is my only forum.) I just noticed that right after I post something, I go back and re-read it no less than six times. And while I'm re-reading it, I slowly process each thing that I wrote, going over the details and the intentions in my mind, but I try to do it from someone else's perspective. Its like I imagine I'm you for a moment and I just stumble across the post, then from another perspective I begin to ask my self interrogative questions.
'Did you really just say that you aren't interested in polyamory right now and then in the next line start a conversation about a prospective polyamorious relationship?' I query
'Well, if you were paying attention you would notice that in no way did I refer to Haylee as a prospective relationship, I merely relayed the joy of our growing friendship' I respond to myself with a defense tone.
'So which is it? Is Haylee friend or prospective companion? And does she know what you think of her?' I attempt another probe from someone else's perspective.
'neither...I guess I don't know how I feel.' then thoughtfully I decide...I should know how I feel about her.
By imagining someone else reading these thoughts I begin to see from a fresh new (imaginary) perspective of exactly what I may be thinking or feeling at the time. Especially if I haven't taken the time to describe some of these important things to myself. Your readership almost becomes a causal by product of my ranting...because, in reality, how many people actually reading this post acknowledge themselves with a response? I'd wager that its around 5%.
"It is a truly wise man who does not play leap frog with a unicorn”