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Old 04-05-2011, 07:13 AM
Altea Altea is offline
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Poland
Posts: 7

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post
I suggest doing a tag search on "foundations" and "lessons" too. Both of you could use some grounding and balance it seems. You've been through a lot.
I do it consecutively. This forum is really full of helpfull advice.

I suggest being monogamous for a while and working on your game plan. Do some things together towards building trust and a foundation with boundaries that work for you both. Some councelling from a poly friendly councellor might help with making sure you both are treating each other respectfully and are not abusing each other due to self esteem issues.
As I wrtote in the reply to BlackUnicorn I don't think it would be easy to find a poly friendly councellor, which is also one of the reasons i decided to write here about my problems. We must come up with something to gain ech others trust again but I guess it won't be possible until we learn to control our tempers.

Once there is some confidence, trust and self esteem built you could then start dating each other again. I say each other because it sounds like your relationship really didn't start out well. Starting again and building up a romance again might help you both feel more connected and therefore more confident in what you have.
Everything was somehow messy and not right in rhis relationship. And I don;t mean by that that we do not match together. It is rather the fact that every relationship that was 'built on the ruins of another one' has a tough start.
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