Originally Posted by gema9809
we do not desire seperate relationships we love each other very much and even when its consentual stepping outside of the relationship always ends up with jealousy and arguments
hello and welcome to the forum
I'm just wondering if there is an assumption here because having seperate relationships has more to do with a need for independence in ones life more than to do with measurement of love. I love my partners very much also and I don't have a triad in terms of romantic love. They are loving and committed to each other as metamours, but there is no romance or sex. We spend lots of time together but in a different way than romantically. Perhaps this kind of arrangement would work for you too as you go along as most often triads of any kind break into vees it seems.
I also wanted to point out, unless you are talking about yourselves, that jealousy and arguements don't always occur and can be addressesd and lessoned with time and work. There can be a lot of lessons and increased connection built of the two. I actually welcome jealousy as an old friend that makes me look at my shit again