Originally Posted by Magdlyn
I've talked to so many poly couples who really don't have a handle on jealousy or time management.
I've dated single guys and also tried to get with several men who were in so-called open non-mono relationships, who disappointed me with their poor communication skills with me and their female partner. Also, married couples often have kids, full time jobs and really not all that much time to date, even tho they are on ok cupid posting away about wanting another person in their life.
This is exactly what happened in my situation! I was dating a guy who was part of a poly couple (I'd never heard of polyamory until I met him online). I raised concerns at the very beginning about how did one find time to fit everyone/everything in in terms of the relationship, children, jobs, etc. and was assured that it was do-able. Eleven months down the road and a move to live closer to them (by mutual agreement), he decides that although he loves me, his life is just too busy to commit to seeing me even once a week. He wanted to continue seeing me if and when it worked out for him. I told him from the beginning that I didn't want to be a secondary, and this type of arrangement would feel very secondary to me. I wasn't interested. I'm still recovering from the pain of this loss.