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Old 04-04-2011, 06:31 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by kingofmice View Post
1. Are there any other good texts concerning polyamory?
Likely everything has been mentioned. But I would say hit up different sites. There are a number of poly sites, read all views. Poly is diverse and interesting. It has a full range of people who are involved in it. Google the hell out of it and enjoy the reads. Nothing has been more valuable than seeing all the sites and living breathing poly/open relationships.

Ethical slut is acceptable. Its a good gateway book. But its feels off to me sometimes. I preferred Opening up which has helped me in many ways find better footing in being open.

2. Though I understand we can define the boundaries/roles in the relationship for ourselves, is it typical that the "extra" people outside of the "open relationship" (me, in this case) don't get the same rights/attention emotionally as the "girlfriend"/"boyfriend"? The idea is that one can be "intimate" with multiple partners, but is this intimacy restricted to sex, or can it be emotional? I tend to be a very sensitive, open-hearted, giving person, and I'm worried that I'll fall in love without the chance for these feelings to be reciprocated.
As with any relationship structure, you have a huge chance of being rejected. Monogamous people have the advantage of remaining protected and sheltered from heartbreak (ideally)... You won't have that protection. You have the ability to love mutiples, meaning you have multiple chances to have your heart broken.

Same rights/ rules/ boundaries as the primary relationship takes shape on an individual basis. Best thing I could say is be fluid. Understand that each relationship is its own, let the strength of that relationship be flexible so that you can accept incoming people and/or situations. Ebb and flow baby...

Any advice or kindness would be really appreciated. I'm at a place where I'm very scared, and a little unsure. I think that both of these people are amazing, and I feel like I can learn a lot from this relationship, and I'd like to continue pursuing it. I'm just very nervous I won't be afforded the same possibilities because I'm coming in from the outside. Thank you.
Fear is a good thing. Its hard to understand how to engage a huge change if you don't fear it. Its just your choice to run, or embrace it
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