In over my head here...
So there's Andrea (I'm a male, she's a female. Just making that clear lol). I met her online and I told her about my poly-curiousness. Her reaction was nothing but positivity! I was so happy that she was open to, well, being open, and we decided to meet up and date.
Sparks really flew o_o We immediately felt safe and very, very attracted to one another. We talked about it and our feelings were very much the same.
Fast forward to this weekend. She invited me to her college campus and we spent the entire weekend making out and talking and getting to know each other even more and building such a deep, exciting... thing... I don't even know what to call it...
Now last night, after I got home, something came up and she told me she was very unsure about stuff but she wasn't sure what it was. We played this game I came up with where we take turns just dumping our desires out, so we know what each other wants. You go on with as many "I want"s as you can, and then you switch turn and repeat until both partners are out of things to say. There's no judging.
This lead into her telling me she had kissed her best friend, who is a female. She doesn't consider herself bisexual, but she said she really wants her best friend.
So interestingly enough... I asked what would happen if we could her on the phone with us and talked about it.
Fast forward three hours later. We're all talking about our attraction for one another and we bring it all out into the open. Her best friend isn't really that into me, but they're very, very into each other o_o
I'm also introduced to Chris, a guy they BOTH like a lot. Chris likes both Andrea and her best friend as well. Andrea told me that her and her best friend wants to ask Chris about a threesome and do what we did with our open feelings.
I said hey, that's cool, but I feel pretty shitty right now.. I mean her best friend effectively said she's down for a threesome, but just not with me. I'm not her type.
So now Andrea and I aren't really talking now. It's gotten very awkward and confusing. And I'm depressed and jealous :/ I like her a lot and my heart feels kind of sore right now. I'm trying my best to be open, but the fact that she's so much more open than I am and totally okay with it makes me feel so uneasy! I'm a student in college and I've been losing so much sleep over this and I'm not happy.
I don't even know where to begin with seeking help or guidance here. It feels almost unfair? Like, the fact that they live so close to one another and have SUCH deep feelings, even deeper than me and her, makes me feel like she isn't my primary partner anymore. So now I feel like I'm back being "single".
Last edited by FireWater; 04-04-2011 at 01:06 PM.