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Old 04-04-2011, 05:26 AM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,438
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I think it's not that we are prejudiced against triads: at least personally, I'm happy for triads that exist as much as for any other configuration. However it seems to happen more often that people will expect a triad. I'd probably feel as unformfortable if someone told me "I'm going to have two partners, one will be a mono, the other one will have two partners apart from me and one of them will be mono and the other will be poly and have one other partner". Because it's so specific, and these things happen, you don't usually plan for it.

"We're going to be three people who are all in love with each other equally" is to me a very specific situation that isn't that likely to happen. I mean, even if you start from a couple in love, you add a third person who needs to like both people and be liked by both people. That's four attractions that need to be there at once.
Sometimes you like someone and they don't like you back, and it doesn't work. And that's with just two attractions needed! So if you require all four to be there at once, you've got to realise you lower your chances even more.
Not to mention a triad requires at least 2 bi people (unless it's a same-sex one, in which case they can be gay as well), and people are more commonly straight, making the option less likely to happen again.

So, I just tend to cringe a little bit when people log in and say that's what they're expecting. Because it can happen, but I wouldn't personally shoot for it, there is too much room for disappointment. I prefer letting things fall into place in the pattern that's more natural for them. And sometimes it will be a triad, sometimes it won't.
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