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Old 04-04-2011, 03:39 AM
snickers snickers is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2011
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Originally Posted by Tonberry View Post
The way I see it, poly is about emotion first, so I don't think it requires being sexual or wanting to be sexual with several people. It is the most common case, yes, but not the only one. If that's how you are, you could define yourself as polyamorous and monosexual, for instance (asexual if you're not monosexual either).
Thank you Tonberry. That answered a question I have been wondering about for quite sometime.

I am new to the idea of polyamory, and I am not certain if I will ever make the choice to be poly. But in my quest to better understand it, I had an epiphany of sorts when I was reading about NRE vs. ORE.

I can honestly say that while married these past years I have shared a love with two other individuals and that if I had allowed their emotionally close friendship and love to become more intimate, it would have bloomed into a new relationship that I was not prepared to have at the time.

Since I began reading more about polyamory, I realized that though my husband and I have participated in a very healthy and sexually monogamous relationship, we have both at times been attracted to people outside our relationship in ways that leaned more towards mutual affection and nonphysical intimacy (rather than general physical attraction). Looking back at our relationship, I was struck by how each of these situations that have come up over the years had injected new life into our marriage. The result of which was that on a couple of occasions the outside party has become a very close and dear friend for one or both of us.

However, because we live in a monogamous society it is very hard to admit to oneself that you have loved or fallen in love with someone outside of your marriage. As a result, I never explored the close bonds that I shared with these other individuals in a manner that would have been more truthful to myself or my husband, until now.

This is still much more that my husband and I need to sort out as we continue our discussions on this subject. Least of which includes jealousy...but that is another topic for another thread.

In the meantime you have answered something that has been sitting at the forefront of my mind in regards to polyamory. I would have to venture a guess that there are more people out there who are emotionally polyamorous but physically monosexual then I would have previously thought....including myself.
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