Originally Posted by younglove
If he comes back to me he will have realized his feelings a bit more and also that the cookie cutter life of marriage and kids just the way he wants it isn't necessarily going to happen in some perfect idealized way... who knows.
A friend of mine once explained to me why it is so hard for women to date.
"You see, us girls, whenever we meet a nice guy, three weeks into the relationship, we're thinking what our children would look like. And what their names could be. And whether we'll be having terrible rows over what the names of the children should be. And whether we should keep our own surname, or if it would be nicer to take theirs. And what kind of dress we'd like for our wedding reception. And all the time we're thinking this, the guy is thinking; 'Great. Let's see how it goes. If things continue this good, I might soon change my relationship status in Facebook. Like, in a few months.'"
Don't live your relationship with him or even his relationship with this friend of yours out before it's even started. Who knows, life might soon be serving you cookie cutter marriage with kids. Although now I identify as bi-poly, who knows - feelings change. Although I'd say the chances of me living in a monogamous marriage with a man in ten years are smaller than the chances of me being struck by a lightning (and only slightly better chances to catch me in a similar situation with a woman), it's based on my current estimate of who I am. Your guy might change. You might change. Your hubby might. If you agonize over possible future scenarios going by what you know and feel now, it's a like playing poker without knowing exactly how many cards are in the deck - pointless.