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Old 04-03-2011, 09:15 PM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Thank you for such thoughtful and heartfelt responses!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueWithEnvy View Post
The only thing that helps with this is knowing that regardless of whether they are dead or alive, that they are doing it because they care and because they love you. I see that you are listed from Finland, and while you might not be in the U.S., it still applies as these attacks are world-wide in terms of what I believe we are trying to prevent.
I know, and I support my love 100%.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueWithEnvy View Post
Take me for example, I have no knowledge of anything else in my Adult life other than the Military. In my situation, the known > unknown. However, my wants and desires to be with my wife and be a major part of her life, outweigh my fears and I will likely act on it when I get home.
You are still young, especially from my Nordic perspective. Basically, you Americans are such kids when you go to college . At 25 I expect to start slowly figuring out what I might want to do after university (the average age of entry for first university degree in my country is 23, I think, so I'm actually ahead a few years).

Quote:
Originally Posted by BlueWithEnvy View Post
While we still love eachother very much, we have grown as individuals in opposite directions rather than together. I would suggest that you give them time, and make yourself available to them whenever they have time. As you are the secondary, just be supportive. Let them know that you are there for them if they need you, but make sure that your needs are met as well. If they aren't able to meet them, I would suggest backing off and taking more of a friend role than a third in the triad.
Great advice. All physical aspects of this relationship are on hold until the stuff you talked about above is figured out.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
You trust that no news is good news. If anything were to happen the next of kin would be contacted quite quickly. My husband hasn't ever been to an active war zone though so I don't know if I would worry a lot more if I didn't hear from him if he was somewhere more dangerous. Although with the navy unless there is news of a whole ship going down usually everything is ok.
Also, it puts things into perspective when you realize that each time you talk might be your last. More gratefulness, less bitching about slow connections .

Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
If he loves what he does though there really isn't going to be any talking him out of it.
Loves what he does, is very good in it and has been at it when I was still playing with Barbies. Asking him to give it up would be asking him to stop being who he is. I'm mostly resentful of the family time he is missing, not asking for more time to myself - I'm so involved with my own family that I couldn't probably handle a 24/7 relationship, or even a 16/5 one.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
Military wives tend to be fairly self sufficient and are willing to do things alone.
My metamour is ex-Army herself, so this is something their relationship is pretty much based on. I know some of the difficulties they are facing which are not all related to me, and admire her beyond belief for the strength of her character.
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