So glad I got in first! Kingofmice, I am so happy for you. Please don't take what follows as patronising. It is heartfelt and genuine, believe me!
You sound like a lovely person and I wish I had had the insight and self-knowledge to realise how I am wired back when I was 20 instead of fighting to fit the norms for 30 years.
I also would like my 'secondary' to be half as good a communicator as you are - and by the way she's way older than you.
You did ask about books. It's reviewed elsewhere but I have been reading 'Sex at Dawn' which massages my pretentions to intellectualism whilst making poly sound like the most natural thing in the world. Oh and it's a good read too. Just what I need.
There have been so many great comments that I don't really have anything much to add but do drop in from time to time and let us know how you are getting on.