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Old 04-03-2011, 05:23 PM
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Indigomontoya Indigomontoya is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 107

NRE turns perfectly lovely people into monsters. It also tends to drive people to definitely more monogamous interaction patterns. This can be really hard to the established (I prefer this term to 'primary', which I connect more with household economics than anything else) partner. Hence the respect and space.

The one thing your parents will be worried about, if this relationship progresses and you out yourself to them, is if you are being used. Responsible non-monogamy as a concept goes pretty much against everything we as a culture are taught to believe is right and good.
BlackUnicorn is right on these points. I reference disappearing in a puff of NRE a lot because it can be a very real possibility, but I dont necessarily mean physically disappearing; emotionally NRE can focus one partner to the exclusion of's something you need to be aware of and again communicate your needs for time and emotional concerns openly.

As for outing to your parents, I have not yet myself. I want to wait until I have an OSO so they do not see my wife in a negative way. Likewise when my wife came out to her father, he had concerns about her being used and a lot of his questions betrayed a bias toward thinking I had pushed her into a poly relationship when if fact I was the one who had to be convinced... My advice would be caution, come out when it feels right and you feel that circumstances make you comfortable enough that their reaction won't drastically affect your life if it goes poorly.

As for blogs, I am sure there are many that will be helpful. I think reading blogs from another perspective in a poly relationship really helped quite a bit in my case, and I recommend the same for you.
Polyamory is wrong! It's Multiamory or Polyphilia. Mixing Greek and Latin roots? That's wrong.
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