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Old 04-03-2011, 11:32 AM
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BlackUnicorn BlackUnicorn is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
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Default Polyamory for Army Wives

...and why not for hubbies, too!

I read the 'poly and military' thread, which was nice and answered some of my questions of being out in the force. However, I've spied there are a few people here involved with (ex-) Army people. From the viewpoint of a secondary, I have a few questions;

1) How do you prevent yourself from going completely apeshit mad with worry when your sweetie hasn't answered in a few days and not automatically think they have been killed/wounded/captured? Does it get better with time?

2) I completely support my partner in doing what they have to do and what they do best, but I do feel resentment when I think that they could be pursuing a civil career and spending time cultivating relationships with their family at home instead. It's an irrational but a strong feeling nevertheless.

3) As a new secondary, I feel I'm taking away too much energy from the more established relationship. With the little time available they have, I feel I'm stealing more than my fair share. I know micromanaging my partner's other relationships isn't included in my job description, but with the added difficulties deployment puts on a relationship, I feel I might be unhealthily filling a void that is created by distance in the primary relationship.

Any input from people who've experienced either side of being in the force would be greatly appreciated.
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Me: bi female in my twenties
Dating: Moonlightrunner
Metamour: Windflower
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