Originally Posted by Tonberry
It makes sense, because that's what we're raised to believe, that's what we're shown everywhere, and it IS the way some people work. Possibly including you, in which case it would be even harder to wrap your mind about his working differently.
Oh! And on this. While I'll admit that my awareness of "polyamory" is brand spanking new, my motivations for engaging in this particular relationship go way beyond my feelings for him (though he's amazing, and she's really great, too). I mentioned that I have a big, open heart. This is not hyperbole. It's a relentless organ. Giving, loving, accepting. It has even been a bit of an issue in my previous and unsuccessful monogamous relationships. I've never cheated (I believe firmly in establishing a relationship's boundaries and adhering to them, and if I felt compelled to stray I'd exit said boundaries by ending the relationship). I think the young men I'd find myself with simply didn't understand how I could be so loving, how I could love so much. Naturally, then, the idea of being able to love many people in the various ways that love would manifest (for each love is as unique as the two individuals evolved) attracts me deeply. This whole experience has been amazingly liberating for me!