Wow! Thanks for your help, gentlemen! For starters, I'll admit that yes, I do have feelings. My goal at the outset was to let the relationship develop naturally, "que sera sera" and all. But I can tell that I like him, that there's potential to really give of myself. For the sake of context, I'd come out of a very restrictive (emotionally, sexually), dependent, monogamous relationship. Communication was always a problem. In this relationship, it's not only encouraged, it's expected. When I say, "I have something important to tell you," he says, "Spit it out." I feel like I can tell him anything, like there's a safety net beneath me.
Not thinking of myself as "inferior" or "novel" seems to be my biggest challenge. Neither of them have given me reason to believe that this is how they view me. There's just that fear that since he loves her (their relationship is very comfortable) he can't possibly love me. I realize how green this makes me sound.
There's also the issue of timing. I feel like I'm going to have to have the conversation soon: When do you typically see her? When can you see me? Is it selfish to think of it in these terms? Or too rigid, absolute? I just want to know where I fit into the relationship as well as the routine.
For example, let me tell you about the "surprise" meeting we had. It had been established that he and I would spend time together last Thursday. Early in the day he told me she'd be coming over around midnight. She lives far from him and so they group their time together into a few days. He said I could stick around and meet her if I wanted, or I could leave. (The amount of understanding this boy possesses can in no way be stressed enough, he's like a paragon of acceptance.) My initial knee-jerk reaction was to say I'd go before she got there. But the timing was against me. He and I had gotten side-tracked, and it resulted in us meeting. We stared at each other like surprised rabbits for a bit, then we got to talking. I like her, and she likes me. I'd feel comfortable spending time with her, and I'd like to spend time the three of us. I guess that once again, communication is key.
There's also the part where we're all young, and we're all living with our parents. We're all just barely in our twenties. So there's that. How does one explain to one's parents that one has two girlfriends? It's all quite perplexing, but totally worth it.
Anywho, thanks again for the help. Any particular blog you can point me to?