Hi, I'd like to chime in.
I want to go back to what you said about your earlier life. You had 12 sexual relationships, but weren't gratified. Until the 12th one, with your current partner. You also mentioned having Aspergers. One of the possible ways Aspergers can manifest is in missing social cues, and another is in taking a large interest in some topics or hobbies, to the point of rigidity or seeming obsession. (My gf's nephew is obsessed with electric fans, a nephew of mine with making paper cut out dolls. My dad is obsessed with NASCAR, etc., etc.)
So... for whatever reason, no woman satisfied you sexually until you met your fiancee. I am thinking she is highly sexual, and this brought out your reluctant libido...
Maybe *she* isnt satisfied with *your* lukewarm libido, and needs a more highly sexual partner. IMO (sorry Cindie), trips to poly fertility festivals occasionally, such as Beltane (yeehah!), or role playing networks like SCAA could work to give her a hit of sexy fun time in the midst of feeling like a hardworking drudge (I've been a stay at home mom, I know).
As far as dating, we've had threads here on how women do get hit on more, but so many men are unsuitable, we may be able to find a short term sexy dating partner, but finding real love is just as hard for us as it is for men.
If you are working and at school most of the week, are you able to meet her need to feel sexy, young and desirable, or is that a stretch for you? How does your Asperger's condition affect the relationship, if it does?
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
There's no lying in polyamory!
I'm a 58 year old woman with 2 partners:
miss pixi, my live-in gf, 36 (together since Jan '09)
Ginger, bf, 61, married, lives nearby (together since Jan '12)