Originally Posted by pheonixaise
However, I make this promise now, I will not date someone until our relationship is better, and I won't date someone until I feel a REAL connection.
That's good, but I think our confusion comes from the fact that you said you are mono. And, well... It seems to me, if you are mono, feeling a real connection with someone else, as you say, is impossible.
I'm sorry if I sound demoralising, I just don't want you to get into that wild goose chase. Certainly, you are free to ask her to give you the same rights that she has, but it looks like you are... well, dreaming a bit.
I mean, if I said, as a poly, that I'd wait to find the one person that makes me not need to be poly anymore... people would tell me I've gone crazy. It won't happen.
Right now you sound to me a bit like... I know, imagine my boyfriend is bisexual, and I decide that since he gets to have sex with both genders, I will too. But because I don't want to hurt anyone, I'll wait to have a real connection with a woman, emotionally, intellectually and physically.
That's not going to happen. I'm straight. The odds against that are astronomical.
I guess they're not of zero, though. And if it helps you to know you have the same right she does, good for you. I just have a bad feeling about it, I guess. I'm worried you'll wait for things to magically get better and they won't.
I still wish you the best of luck about it. I could very well be completely off-base, after all.