Originally Posted by redpepper
I haven't read everything here. Its sometimes hard to catch up. I will only reply to my thread.
I sense a sort of stubborness to find ways to make this work. There is no room to budge on anything it seems. I feel for you and your situation but it isn't going to change until your attitude changes and you start seeing things in terms of abundance instead of scarcity. There are threads on that if you are interested. A tag search will bring them up.
I can empathize with her. I had aa baby once, I dated and was above board and found most men to be exactly what she is finding. Anyone on here who is dating now would likely say the same.
I still stand by my first post, so I suggest you read it when you are able to read it with a different atitude. Maybe that will help.
These are the exact kinds of polarized views I wasn't looking for. I read your post, and I must say that this is a philosophy. A philosophy is as sound as the people who follow it, and as varied as the names of the people involved. I'm sorry, but I don't believe in abundance, because there are 24 hours in a day, and no one can change that. Scarcity is a fact of life. We are not immortal, and have a set amount of time on this planet. I will admit, that requires a certain level of freedom of choice, but I am not unwilling to budge on anything. What I'm unwilling to do is silently suffer.
I've walked in on my fiancee in bed with my best friend. The man who was going to be the best man at my wedding, with no prior notice. I have had her fight with me about how I swept the floor before going out on a date, leaving me to seethe at the thought of playing out oh so many of my favorite songs. I've had her cut a man's name who broke up with her into her arm directly after we had sex, and cry the rest of the night. I'm bitter, yes. Because I have actually been hurt. And I am not a masochist.
However, I would like to say this now, unless you're not going to approach this with a "Change your attitude, you inconsiderate bastard" approach, please don't post here. I told you I compromised, and I realize that most people here are of her philosophy, so I don't expect supporters of monogamy, but at least be considerate of the fact that I think differently, and am legitimately trying to change.
But also know that it isn't easy.