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Old 04-01-2011, 09:40 PM
Tonberry Tonberry is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 1,398

Originally Posted by pheonixaise View Post
However, what is the point of being poly if it is just to have your partner do things that hurt you, with no benefit to yourself.
But if you're mono, then being poly is NOT a benefit to you. It might make things worse for you, in any case won't help, and would hurt another woman. Right now I'm wondering if you're not trying to get some revenge or some thing. A kind of "you're hurting me? Well I'll do the same thing, see how you like it!". Except it's probable it won't hurt her the way it hurts you since she's not mono.

I've heard of plenty of mono/poly relationships, but I haven't heard of a mono being poly because he's with a poly. It sounds like a recipe for disaster, really.

You think there are no benefits to you staying with her? (Because she's made up your mind, she's poly and is going to live it, so that's really your choice: either you stay, or you go). There are advantages to your staying. Being with a woman you love. Being with your baby.
There are advantages to her being poly. That means you don't have to carry the financial burden on your own (provided she finds another stable relationship, I guess). That means help caring for your child. Just like you can care for the child while she's out on a date with her boyfriend, her boyfriend can care for the child while she's out on a date with you.
You can see her happy instead of miserable.

If none of these make up for the sacrifices you feel you have to make, then by all means, don't stay. But please don't drag someone else into this just because you want as big a piece of cake as your wife, even though you don't even like cake.
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