Well, I hadn't set out looking to have feelings for another. Just some fun, a FWB was my perfect definition of a lover. L... she became something more, and very quickly. G is not OK with this. She's now saying that maybe this was all a mistake, that it all feels wrong, and we should never have done it in the first place. She freaks out if I want to see L for a night, even if G is going to be in town the next day so I can see her, she thinks I don't care about her and don't want to see her, that I'm just trying to justify seeing L. She doesn't realize I want to see them both.
She's breaking my heart. I never thought I'd be able to have feelings for another person like this, and now that I finally do, I can feel G alternating between pushing me away and pulling me back. This blissful experience is unraveling before me and I just don't know what I can do to stop it.
She can't handle knowing I have an actual relationship with someone, how could she possibly handle knowing I have real feelings for her too?
If I call it of with L, I'll be miserable, and G will make me feel like shit for it for years to come. If I don't, G will be miserable, and make me feel like shit for it for years to come, unless she can just learn to deal with it. If there's one thing I know for a FACT that I do NOT want, it's a bitter wife. I saw my father suffer at the hands of one for decades, and I am not going to let that happen to me.