Wow, your post has sent me to a place I didn't want to be. You talk about Jen being your "everything", that is a LOT of preassure to put on one person. My husband did this to me for a number of years. The truth is, I can not be this mythical imaginary person he had made me out to be. The more I tried, the more I failed and the more misserable I became. I felt guilty for letting him down, I resented him for creating all these expectations of me that I wasn't capable of and I hated him for making me responsible for his happiness. I want to SHARE in his happiness, not be solely responsible for it. If I am required to be responsible for his happiness, I will have to walk away, because I am not qualified, nor capable of that task and I will make mistakes that will kill us both. Kinda like sending a teenager to do a job that requires a licenesed electrician.
I think going to a councelor is a great idea.