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Old 04-01-2011, 01:03 PM
PolyNrrdGrrl PolyNrrdGrrl is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 16

Originally Posted by redpepper View Post

One month is not long enough to think that this is going to last. It's too short a time I think. It's a time of huge NRE and huge illusions about who a person is even though you think you might know them.
I'm more concerned about him not having a clue who I really am, than I am about feeling as if I don't know him well enough. As you can tell from his posts, LAM's emotions and feelings are very intense. I'm not saying I don't feel intense emotions when with him and a desire to continue this relationship and be with him. But you're right in saying that the couple of months we've been getting to know each other are not enough to be sure about any of this.

Originally Posted by redpepper
I just don't think you would be giving yourself a solid foundation if you branch out yet and push the poly thing... besides the whole "hooking up" thing is just kinda creepy to me for some reason. What is that all about,,,, really? You really think you can say no you can't go fuck a guy you love but I can go and have random sex with a stranger I met on line? BAH< I don't get how that works!
ITA :/ I don't mind it simply because I feel as if it's "no skin off my back". I'm more liberal about sex than most, I'd be okay with being with a partner who swings when I don't etc. I guess, as I said, I don't see it as "pushing" the poly thing. This is what my past two relationships were - since I didn't go into them with any previous relationships in place, we remained monogamous to each other until they were comfortable (the first one took years and the second was a man I have loved for over 6 years, but our relationship was about 5 months old when he broached the subject himself) and it didn't work out. I was very new to starting a relationship with others in place already, and I felt the need to assure LAM that he was my "Primary" and that with C being currently a LDR (not that he cares, because she's a girl, sigh) and J and I fighting, things were scaled back to "just friends". Which just wasn't true. I wasn't being dishonest to him, but to myself. I've always been open with him about my feelings about other people though, so I don't think I just swooped in one day and said "remember what I said? fuck it. i want to date others NOW". I just think I've been seeing my usual pattern in effect and I want that to change. Even if this relationship doesn't pan out, I still have to figure out how to nurture my other two and not have anyone feel resentment that I basically told them to F off for a minute while I figured things out with the "New Guy".

I ramble a lot while tired. I do apologize
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