RedPepper, and even "Stupid", I do agree with you. My past relationships have been several years long. The kind of intensity that has arisen between LAM and I is very clearly a type of infatuation.
THe thing that has me feeling bound, RP, is not that I think it's a great idea to introduce others after such a short time. The problem about that is - I'm not going off and finding new partners to add to the mix and trying to build my "tribe" all at once or something. I came into this relationship already having two other partners. I was completely honest with LAM about my girlfriend, but I wasn't totally honest with myself about J. And as I've said, I am not willing to say goodbye to either my girlfriend (who I honestly see as a lifelong partner) or to J.
I also don't have any desire to have anyone "submit" in a D/S sense in a relationship (not saying Mono is submitting, he very obviously has made his choice with you) ... but I'm such a Switch it isn't even funny. I'm not happy having the upper hand in a relationship ... and I'm not happy with having rules restricting the way I love.
I think I am viewing this differently than you, RP. You see it as too early to have other partners in the mix.. I see it as too early for someone to dare to tell me I have to restrict my interactions with other partners. Not that J and I have a very lengthy background, but he is a huge part of my life. The development of our relationship has seriously slowed butr neither of us could control it actually happening. When you and Mono began dating, I'm sure he wouldn't have had the audacity to expect you to no longer kiss PN.
I'm also extremely frustrated at the policy that my relationship with C isn't an issue in the least because she harbors certain genitalia. I identify as pansexual and to me love is love is love is love. How unfair to myself and J and any other man or woman or anyone in my life or his life to say that they are on different footings. I'm NOT okay with being "allowed" to have one relationship but not another, both of them predating this one, just because of the gender of the partners. I find this an extremely repulsive trait that I see in many men in these "types" of relationships.
I am running on sleep deprivation, it might not be good for me to post this as I am feeling irritated and frustrated and a little rage-y for no reason other than not enough sleep (I am also a narcoleptic and the mother of a 2 year old... things get pretty intense inside my head! Haha)