I will say, FlameKat, that I don't know how much of his planned hook up is hypocritical. He had told me that he was willing to remove the physical boundaries between myself and other partners/potential partners and that was when this other person and him got into contact for this encounter. When he realized that I actually had a desire to be physical with J, he offered to cancel his "date" and I told him it isn't necessary.
Personally, I think that "just sex" is slightly repulsive. Not that I never do it - hell, I slept with LAM the first time I met him and I didn't expect much to come from our relationship. But typically, sexual acts are reserved for those I have strong feelings for. So it's hard for me to see that my idea of healthy sexuality with those I love is considered "worse" than someone just having sex with an online date, because there are feelings involved.
LookAtMues: I do wish that you'd reveal the specifics of your planned encounter here as far as what would make it "unique" because there is a very GLARING issue there that I would love to address and get some input on but I don't know how private you wish to be about that aspect of it.