View Single Post
Old 04-01-2011, 03:33 AM
FlameKat's Avatar
FlameKat FlameKat is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: :P Cautiously looking around this new world that seems to fit...
Posts: 311

Originally Posted by lookatmues View Post
I have a hook up planned soon and I don't intend on there being many after that. Kind of a one-time thing, for kicks. No emotional attachment.
A little hypocritical...

Originally Posted by lookatmues View Post
This is different than PNG's case since there IS emotions attached.
If it is okay for you to have your physical needs met outside your relationship, then it should be okay for her... to set boundaries on her when you don't abide by them yourself is damaging to the relationship.
The fact she has emotions involved, sure that makes it scarier - for you, she is sure of how she feels for you and knows she is coming her, just as she obviously trusts you.

Originally Posted by lookatmues View Post
It all comes down to distance. It's what worries me the most. I know it's foolish, but part of me thinks there may be a chance of PNG falling for J and losing interest in me because of the difficulties in us seeing eachother.
Distance - yah that makes it tough... WW and I are in a ldr, we see each other twice a year if we are lucky (I live in Australia - he in Canada)
I added the bolding - has she not already fallen for J? Is that not what this is all about? It obviously isn't the end of the world... she already loves him and you are still together, still ploughing through sorting out how to make it work see the good...

Originally Posted by lookatmues View Post
The way she makes me feel, her personality, everything. She's amazing.

Originally Posted by lookatmues View Post
I'm going on and on and it's mostly because I can never think straight on this issue. She's right. I contradict myself ALOT. That's because as soon as I say what I think I mean to say, I doubt it or am unsure almost immediately afterward. I can never seem to get it straight in my own head.
Work on this - write it down, do a flow chart, see if you can find a pattern to your thinking and find where it all starts to break down, then ask youself Why?

Originally Posted by lookatmues View Post
I just don't know if I can get over the idea of her thinking about someone else the same way she does me. Or looking at someone with those gorgeous eyes the same way she does at me. I know what we have is special, but I don't want to be just "someone she loves." I don't need a label as a "boyfriend" per se, but I just want to know where I stand in relation to other people she loves.
Nobody is ever 'just somebody loved'. Personally I would be very insulted if someone I loved devalued it like that... You are special to her - if you weren't she wouldn't be trying to work this out with you. SEE THE GOOD
Smile! It makes people wonder what you've been up to

Engaged to my sweetheart, WaterWolf

my blog (non-poly) Pearls & Pixiedust

Reply With Quote