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Old 04-01-2011, 01:41 AM
lotheriel79's Avatar
lotheriel79 lotheriel79 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: College Station
Posts: 24
Default I understand completley

First off let me say I am magik's wife, and I understand EXACTLY what you mean and how you feel.
when we started our triad it was that- both of us together, and in all honesty, while I was curious because I had never been with another woman, I more figured I would rather be involved and in a way have a little control over the situation, where as if he saw her separately I would have no idea what was really going on.
It turned out she and I hit it off GREAT for a while, and it was happiest time of our lives- for me and him anyway.
Now that it is over with her, I want that bad again, but with him involved.
While I COULD be with a girl on my own, having him with us made it complete.

So if you do go for it-- and I AGREE COMPLETELY with everyone here that talking about EVERYTHING is a MUST with EVERYONE all at once- not separately-- But if you go for it, and everyone agrees to try it out, You may learn a few things about yourself you never knew, and perhaps her as well.

One concern is though is she into girls too? Have you ever been interested in girls before now? And are you and your guy strong enough? It takes a STRONG couple to make a triad work, and kris and I grew strong because of this, but may not have been as strong as we thought when we started.
Will you be ok if it turns out she shows him more attention, and with the NRE- can you be ok with SEEING him show her more attention. If not it is probably better that you do not see it happening in front of your own eyes, because it is very valid and can happen, and does. There WILL be times you feel left out unless you and her hit it off REALLY well. And then if you guys hit it off- will be be ok if he gets left out from time to time? NRE is fun but it can be a bitch in a triad once it wears off for one side or sways from time to time from one person to the other. Equality is important in a triad and it is HARD to maintain.
These are all things to consider and talk over before you start.

Good Luck with what ever you choose.
Everything in life is affected by the way you perceive it.Time to THINK DIFFERENT

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