Originally Posted by nycindie
Truthfully, there's something in your posts that I can't quite put my finger on, which make me a bit squeamish.
Maybe she's acquiescing to your requests and then backing out of it because perhaps you're coming across like you're guilt-tripping her? And isn't it a bit... hmm, arrogant or disrespectful in a way, for lack of better words, sorry... to assume that she doesn't realize what she is walking away from just because she is walking away? Perhaps she knows full well and is making the choice anyway.
To me, it sounds like she has given her actions much thought and from a mature perspective:
It seems she was being very considerate when she chose to leave the relationship. I know you all had feelings of love for each other, but the sentence I bolded above stood out for me, and when I read your posts, I just get the sense that there is still an element somewhere in you of losing a toy or possession. She is standing up for yourself and you two seem rather offended as well as hurt.
If I were you two, I'd leave her alone for a while. That big long letter was a bit much, IMHO. And I am someone who has written letters like that and realized that they tend to be overkill, or rub salt in the wound, or add drama to a situation. Be with your feelings of loss, examine them, and give yourselves some time before jumping into something with a third again. You don't need to "replace" her right away.
I hope you don't mind my honest feedback. I am offering it in the spirit of helpfulness.
I agree, & I know Im fucked up & not thinking right now, & I dont mind the honest feedback at all.
So I am leaving her alone, still being friends, I just keep what I think to myself now because I know im not thinking rationally.
& Im not really offended at all, more surprised than anything else. But She DID care enough to move away & Everyone cared enough to not cause a scene.
I also agree with Heather, its the relationship I miss, not the sex.
But Thank you nycindie for your thoughts, I will think on them more for sure.