I see what you mean, and I will speak for myself:
See when we started this it really was- FOR ALL OF US- nothing more than sex. A fun threesome, and I myself (seeing as I was SOOOOO MONO) HAD to think of her as nothing more than a toy to make myself ok with it. I did not know her at all before we started this, so I was easily able to view her as some stranger coming in just for sex, because to me that is all she was.
Then that did change. I started to hang out with her and we developed a friendship, and above all else that is what I miss the most. We became each others shoulders to cry on and I want to say there were, with the bond that we created between her and I things we could share with each other that we felt we could not tell anyone else.
When I mourn for her, I mourn for the friendship, not the sex.
And that is what makes the best relationships, after all- being able to be a friend to your lover. I tend to think that had we started as friends INSTEAD of lovers this would have ended quite differently- at least on better terms where we may still continue to talk.
Well, it was our first go at it, and we learned a lot and I do not regret any of it. My main hope at this point is that SHE not regret any of it either because there was something magic there.
And in any future ventures into a unicorn search WILL start differently, and you are right- The view I had of her in the start was very very wrong, and I am very disappointed in myself that I ever allowed myself to view anyone in that manner. I never had before, and I swear to every God everywhere I will never ever allow myself to think of another person so shallowly again.
Everything in life is affected by the way you perceive it.Time to THINK DIFFERENT