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Old 03-31-2011, 04:03 PM
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FlameKat FlameKat is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: :P Cautiously looking around this new world that seems to fit...
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Default Major rant>>>>

Soooo.....

WW has outed me to a work colleague/friend of his... he has been talking to this friend of his about the situation for a little while now, getting support and talking things through... but yesterday... he used the word 'poly'...

His friend essentially flew off the handle, said he had two friends that 'claimed' to be poly but it was all a cover for people who can't or who refuse to control themselves, who refuse to choose to love only one person, because anyone can be poly, but normal people choose not to hurt their partners... *paraphrasing from memory

Poor WW was left fumbling for a defense he is still trying to figure out and believe himself, and I am infuriated beyond belief that this person who barely knows me (been to his house once for a get together two years ago) would imply that I am choosing to hurt WW, simply because, in his opinion, I can't control myself, and simply because I choose to be honest about how I feel, simply because I cannot deny who I am as a person...

...At least I am NOT a lying, cheating, coward who goes behind my fiance's back... this path is rough and leaves us fucking raw to the bones... but is honest, and real and we aren't hiding from each other and pretending everything is ok... BECAUSE everything IS ok... and its ok because we are honest...

having said that... i am not enjoying the (beginning) trend of him losing friends because of me (not saying he's lost this one yet - but it doesn't look encouraging at this point)... and yeah I know, its not my responsibility how other people react - but if I hadn't found this out about me, we wouldn't be in this mess and we wouldn't be having all the pain and we wouldn't be facing the prospect of losing friends...

i'm just in a weak point where i want a fairy godmother to wave her magic wand and put WW and me in each others arms... at this point I would accept restrictions of an hour... this is so gruelling for us, and we are doing it with a 15? hour time difference... and no set date for when we are in the same place again...


sorry for the thought shifts... please do contribute - advice/thoughts/commiserations on this one would definitely be appreciated...
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