Originally Posted by koifish
Is this worth risking my relationships to my family over?
The way I see it, if any family member or friend abandons you because you or your fiance -- or both -- love someone else, ... well, maybe you don't really need them in your life so much. Tell them all that this is YOUR life to live, not theirs. But it is clear, Koifish, that there is an inner
step you need to take to get there -- and that step is beyond shame. (You have admitted that you feel shame.) Shame will stop you for standing up for your own innocence and dignity.
There is never shame in loving. Never.
And anyone who would pour shame down on one who loves should be the one to be ashamed.
Here's a ceremony to have before the marriage ceremony. Go somewhere outdoors where having a fire is safe. Burn a representation of your shame and fear about being true to yourselves. Do this together. And when your flamable representation is ashes, be done with it. Burn it completely.