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Old 03-31-2011, 10:45 AM
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Penny Penny is offline
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Early on in our relationship I had brought up the whole wife and kids thing, and my boyfriend expressed that this is something that he'd like to do sometime in the indeterminate future. He also says I make him happier than he ever thought possible. He's not looking for anyone else right now. Who knows if that will change.

My husband (who is 28 so could easily have more kids if he wanted them) and I already have a child and he does not want more.

While I'm not sure if I'd consider having kids with my boyfriend if circumstances were different, I am 42 years old and find the health risks at my age unacceptable, so it's not on the table. He is 32, so I would think he'd be in a bit more of a hurry than he is, but he seems as happy as he claims to be, so I'm not going to argue.

My boyfriend is content right now to just live in the moment and enjoy what we have. Still, it's going to be in the back of my mind. Am I denying him something? Am I holding him back?

But I'm not going to leave him or anything. I think that would be really presumptuous of me. If I make him happy and he wants to be with me and doesn't want to look for anyone else, I'm not about to argue. We've talked about it, and he's gone from definitely wanting the wife and kids route to being kinda vague about it.

So, he might meet someone and decide to settle down, or we might just carry on like this. I can't predict where it's going and am happy to go along for the ride. My boyfriend knows that if he decides to move on, I will mourn him but I will support his decision.

You guys are really young. You have plenty of time to figure these things out. You have options you haven't even thought of yet.

My advice is to just give it time. Let your boyfriend know that you support whatever will make him the happiest. Whenever we love, some amount of pain is inevitable.

He's a big boy, he can figure it out for himself.
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Hinge of a V relationship with my husband (Thumper) and boyfriend (T-Rex). Also, mother of a 6 y/o girl by my husband.

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