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Old 03-31-2011, 05:43 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Just because someone has the goal of getting married and settling down to raise children doesn't mean that he should only be looking for candidates who would fulfill that role of wife and mother. That puts lots of pressure and obligation on every potential partner... ecch. Why can't he have relationships that are fun and easy and satisfying for what they are, as they are in the present? Enjoy what he's got now and not worry about the future. It's not like you would be fooling yourselves into believing it is something else. See it for what it is and enjoy every second. We only ever have this moment. No need to postpone joy now just because there's something else we want later down the road.

As for coming out to people, you will do what you see fit when and if it feels appropriate, and safe to do so. I would say be careful not to tell those who would sabotage you with mean or hurtful remarks while everything is so new and on shaky ground. Other than that, it's nobody's business unless you feel compelled to tell them.
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"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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