Might I suggest looking at some threads on rules... I prefer to call them boundaries as they are fluid and changeable... rules just makes me feel constricted and rebellious. Actually, I have given it some thought recently and to me rules are black and white, where as boundaries are movable and meet more in the middle. Before there is a boundary there is a compromise made usually. Both sides/all sides compromise in order to make sure that those that are struggling are being considered... then there is a kind of inching towards where the line is that cannot be crossed without consent or there will be repercussions. The repercussions can be discussed also so that everyone knows what will happen if a boundary is not respected. This is how it works for me and my tribe anyway.
I would suggest finding some ideas of how to build a foundation that works for you by doing a tag search for "lessons" and "foundations" also you could do a tag search for "unicorns" and "secondary" of "primary/secondary" Not all of it will be useful, but it would be a great way to become familiar with what has worked and what hasn't for others.
Meh, I don't see any problem with the "no sleep over" thing. I think if you are starting out it might be a good idea... for now. I think it will need changing at some point as triad love does not often stay as such. Usually it breaks off into a vee... mostly with the man being the hinge. Just saying. It might not happen here, but, again, have a look at other threads and see what other peoples journey has been.
By the way, a closed triad is called a "poly fi" triad... as in poly fidelity. Just in case it helps in describing what it is you have discussed with your partners. You could search that too... and definitions. There is a sticky for definitions actually.
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Last edited by redpepper; 03-31-2011 at 05:16 AM.