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Old 03-31-2011, 02:59 AM
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TheBlackSwede TheBlackSwede is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 150

Originally Posted by River View Post
This seems to be where the energy is in what you have written, and I'd like to know more about that. What is meant by "issues"? How strong are these? Are you working with / on it together? How? If not, why? ....
Good questions... thanks for reading, and for asking - it helps me think of things maybe I hadn't thought of before. I'll do my best to answer.

In terms of her insecurity, I think in this instance it was stemming from the whole feeling left out thing when I was working and apart from her, but I do think her insecurities are deeper than that, and even when she consciously has a grip on them, I'm not so sure she's ever 100% on a subconscious level - nor do I think she's ever really going to be. This has to do with her own image issues, not so much with me and other women. She does seem fine that I see others, but she still bristles at the idea of me having feelings for another woman, even though she consciously knows it's not going to change the way I feel about her, or the fact that she's the primary - she is, and always will be. Everyone knows that and is perfectly comfortable with it.

I think lately she just needed me to do a better job of SHOWING her that - something I've been working on, and lately she seems a lot better. I'm sure that'll all go straight out the window when I tell her I'm having serious feelings for L, and I'll have a whole new mess of insecurities to allay, but that seems to be par for the course. I haven't told her yet, but I have demonstrated that L and I are getting closer, and that she's not just some random chick I'm banging.

Maybe seeking a third party to help discuss these things might be a good idea, but I'd like to try and work through them ourselves first - we've come this far, and we're very proud of that. We are stronger together than ever because of the work we've done and experiences we've had individually and together. This is the next step in that journey, and its a terrifying one.

Last edited by TheBlackSwede; 03-31-2011 at 03:29 AM.
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