I've only experienced NRE once while already involved in a committed, long term relationship with another--another with whom there wasn't any NRE going on.
I kept talking with my long-time lover, Kevin, about "R" during this time. And I wanted to, and did, spend a lot of time with "R", and Kevin just stayed solid, was apparently unperturbed (though I do wonder what he might have said if he were more like me in our communication styles: I'm a blabber mouth, I talk about EVERYTHING ... well, when and where it is welcomed. Kevin's the quiet one).
I found it a little tricky this first time out ... first poly experience ... to maintain balance of affection while stirred up by NRE, but I do NOT think the NRE is something bad, terrible, wrong, or something we ought to try to represss, supress, fight, struggle against. Rather, you have to take time to be thoughtful and reflective while the NRE is stirred up, both of you. And take time, each day, to look into how you feel toward the one who isn't stirring your NRE pot at the moment. Feel that love. Know it. Hold it close. And then, having done that once, twice, three times a day, let yourself enjoy the NRE. It's great! What a drug! MMmmmm!
[The relationship with "R" was a crash landing with lots of smoke, fire, and brimstone. --but I still love him, always will. We're just neither lovers nor friends now. But these things *can* work; I am sure of it.]
Last edited by River; 05-05-2009 at 04:58 PM.