Thanks Indie and Bella,
I like what you said about responsibility opening up doors. If he eventually can take some responsibility for acting cruel and selfishly, then maybe. I did decided to take a break from the emailing. On Monday, I had a breakdown (like an actual really serious one) and lost it in a Carl's Jr. And so at this point, my priority is getting myself better. I can't deal with O. I asked him to not contact me. My friends have been so supportive since monday and I have a good therapist so there is hope. Anyway, I'm going to be focusing on me now.