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Old 03-30-2011, 10:17 PM
MrFarFromRight MrFarFromRight is offline
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Ping-ponging around Europe, trying to get a publishing concern off the ground
Posts: 718

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
You're right about almost all of this. But, for the record, Eric and I have shared "sexual love" plenty of times before (see above). My guess is that he certainly feels affection for me, maybe even loves me as a friend, *maybe* even as something more than that... but I highly doubt that his feelings are at the level as mine. But hey, who can claim to know the secret workings of the mind of another? Not I, certainly.
There’s this crazy little word called "love" that means different things to different people and different things to the same person depending on its context. There’s sexual love and maternal love and brotherly love and the love you feel for friends and and and.

I'm well aware that Eric has a sexual link with you. And I – personally – am quite sure that he loves you in other ways. But does his sexual link constitute sexual love? This is what I'm not sure about. (And – going by your postings – it’s what you’re not sure about either.)

There are people who can have sexual relationships with people whom they don’t love. And there are people who love somebody but not sexually. The question is: Can you (or – in this case - Eric) love somebody but-not-sexually and at the same time have sex with that person? I just wanted to encourage you to believe in that other kind of love he does have for you, and be assured that he’ll treat you gently (lovingly) even if he can’t consider that he “loves” you sexually. (On re-reading that last sentence, the latter half appears ambiguous: Do I mean “I just wanted to [...] be assured that he’ll treat you gently (lovingly)” or “I just wanted to encourage you to [...] be assured that he’ll treat you gently (lovingly)”? ... It turns out that I mean both.)
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