Two words start to come to mind:
City and Hall.
Get married. Live your life. Be well.
If this means moving to a neighboring town and becoming financially/emotionally independent, so be it. Easier said than done, I realize, but there you have it.
Your "family" is a bunch of creepy control freaks. I know you love them because they are the only family you have, but it is obvious to me that your father is holding your and your husband's livelihood hostage for a variety of reasons known only to him and possibly yourself, which have nothing to do with your other partner. Sorry, but you HAVE to grow up sometime. You are being treated like an adolescent child and not being given the respect an independent adult has earned by definition. Is your family paying for the wedding? I'd "thanks-but" that one. Seriously. Someone has already said it - this is YOUR LIFE, YOUR WEDDING, YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, and at some point, you will have to start doing what makes YOU happy or you will have a miserable life trying to make everyone else happy and not succeeding.
I know it makes me seem like a jerk, but I am kind of relieved that most of my immediate family is dead or just not in my life because I don't have to think about this bullshit.