Both my fiance and I work for my father is generally a jerk, controlling, high handed, difficult to work for. He accused me of not being committed to the business said that I was the worst employee he had and that he would have fired me if I were not his daughter. I do work that few or no other people can at the business. He says similar things to my fiance. That was already stressing me out.
Then last week he decided that our wedding was a train wreck and that he needed to take control from us so it would turn out well. We resisted and he accused me of not caring about him and mocking me about my supposed need to win and basically infantilizing me and then saying that I had burnt bridges with him.
So, we had finally reached a place of separation and autonomy in our personal lives, and then someone goes and tells on us and the "adults" talk amongst themselves and call us to a meeting where they tell us they disapprove and no longer have enthusiasm for our wedding.
Oh god. The worst timing.
I care very much for our third and so does my fiance.
Right now I do not want to have to tell his parents. They are lovely and sweet and very religious and right now I love his dad more than my dad and they love me. I'm so afraid that the mystery busy body will tell them. I don't want to have our wedding destroyed, honestly. The three of us are getting along well in the last 2-3 weeks, but historically our relationship has been fraught with either she or I having serious freakouts and my very talented fiance holding it together. She almost broke up with us again 3 weeks ago and my fiance put things back together. But I was ready to let her amicably break up with us. She has the same issues come up over and over and they are legitimate and probably not fixable except in the very long term. She wants to be on completely equal standing with us right now, and always has, so the wedding sort of constantly upsets her. We were engaged 9 months before we met her.
When it's good with us, it's good. But that has been well under half the time.
I'm very afraid of random malicious busy bodies destroying my livelihood or my relationships in the future by springing this information on people. Because "they should know" or "they have a right to know". Telling my 80 something grandparents or something.
I don't know if I am cut out for this. You may have read my other posts about being sick and polyamorous. This much stress is literally making me ill. I don't sleep. I barely eat. I've lost too much weight. I'm too thin.
ps. I do consider it a betrayal of me and my fiance for my parents to conceal the busy body's identity. We will be seeing this person at the wedding or other places and we don't know who they are.