Originally Posted by Tonberry
About primary/secondary, I suggest you look at other threads for descriptions of what makes a relationship one or the other. Things such as living together, raising children together, sharing finances, making long-term projects, taking (most) vacations together, making big purchases together are all things that usually mean the relationship is primary (they don't need to all be present).
Ooh, really good questions, Tonberry! Are these listed somewhere outside of this thread?
You can have non-sexual primaries too, if you have consciously chosen to share your life with someone in a manner Tonberry described, in a sort of 'intentional community' kind of way. Although these are not strictly speaking poly-relationships, they have an impact on romantic relationships much like children or pets do.
Also, I want to add a few questions of my own:
1) Do your other partners have veto power in what comes to new relationships? If so, do I, and under what circumstances?
2) Is casual sex allowed without having to discuss it beforehand?
3) What shall we do in case of an accidental pregnancy?
4) How out are you on being poly? How out do you expect me to be?