I have not replied in a while, because I took some time to think for myself.
I think JRM hits it right on the head, actually. I try soooo hard to protect myself, that I actually feel I limit the ability for something real to ever happen. This is for sure a pattern I have help my whole life. When Ouroboros broke the agreement I was very hurt... It still bothers me, actually.
It is like I was waiting for something to go wrong so that my insecurities would be justified.
My question is this: How on earth, do I let go? I can have brief moments of this, but inevitably fall back into the same routine. This incident has made me very wary of trying to live polyamorously, despite all the rational that I have supporting the lifestyle. It all comes down to that ONE thing... Setting myself up for disaster and ending up hurt...
Any thoughts, words of wisdom, examples that might help someone who REALLY wants to let go?